TRAJ Total Romeo and Juliet!
by Miss Pink 001
Summary: The TDI cast have to perform the Shakespeare play, Romeo and Juliet!
1. Chapter 1

**TRAJ: Total Romeo and Juliet:**

**ACT I**

**Chris: "**Two households, in Verona, they don't like each other, there child from each house Romeo and Juliet, or as we like to call them  
star-cross'd lovers take their life;  
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;  
The which if you with patient ears attend,  
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend."

"What does that mean again?"(Whispers to chef)

**Chef**: I don't know, just get on with the play!" (Shruggs)

**Act 1, Scene 1:**

Chris: SCENE I. Public area thing and umm, where is it?

Chef: Veronaish.

Enter Katie and Sadie, of the house of Capulet, armed with Green Jelly on sticks and with card board cut- outs of Celine Dion for shields.

Katie:

Sadie, OMG, we'll not carry coals because we will dirty our manicures and oh, my god yours looks amazing!

Sadie:

I, know but I think that yours are amazing

SAMPSON

No, yours are I mean, they are so...

GREGORY

so...

Katie and Sadie:

Us! !

Chris:

Hello? Can we ah, carry on! (Screaming and waving his script in the air)

Sadie: Sorry, (uh hem) I mean, we will be in choler, we'll draw.

Katie: Ay, while you live, draw your neck out o' the collar. Collar?

Chris:

Yes Collar

Katie:

But Sadie is not a dog!

Sadie:

I'm, I'm a dog?

Chef:

No, not collar as in dog, the other type of collar, the ones on your shirts!

Katie:

Shirt, but I thought that we were both wearing...

Katie and Sadie:

Pink, silky tank tops that are made with bunny buttons and Trent's trend pockets!

Chef

I strike quickly, being moved.

Sadie

Oh, yeah, I strike quickly, be moved

Katie

Being moved by what? Uh, just follow the script Katie, follow the script... (reassures herself) But thou art not quickly moved to strike.

Sadie

A dog of the house of Montague moves me. Oh, I hope that he is a friendly one!

Katie

Oh, I get it, thats what you ment by being moved (winks at Sadie. Sadie shrugs.) To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand:  
therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.

Sadie

A dog of that house shall move me to stand: I will  
take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.

Katie

they have maids? Uh, even we cant even hire a kitty sitter that costs £6 an hour! (sighs and yawns) That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes to the wall.

Sadie

True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels,  
are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push  
Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids  
to the wall. What do vessles mean?

Chris

Ummmmm, dunno, just carry on my little gold stars!

Katie and Sadie

Gold Stars Eeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiii!

Katie

The quarrel is between our masters and us their men. A quarrel?

Sadie

'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I  
have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the  
maids, and cut off their heads.

Ewwwwwwwwwwww, I am not a you know what, am I? You know, a MURDERER (whispers the word Murderer)

Katie

The heads of the maids? Sadie, is there something that you need to confess? Because, we are like sisters, so am I like a murderer too?

Sadie

Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;  
take it in what sense thou wilt.

Katie

Ok, think murderer, (Running towards Chris, stabs him in the eye and then kicks him where the sun don't shine and the nuts)Then shouts "They must take it in sense that feel it. ".

Sadie

Katie, OMG, calm down girlfriend, it was just a line in the script, I am not really a murderer, and nither are you! Anyway, me they shall feel while I am able to stand: and 'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.

Katie

'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou  
hadst been poor John. Draw thy tool! here comes  
two of the house of the Montagues.

Who's poor John, and where is my tool? Is it a hammer?

Sadie

My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee. 

I have got a naked wepon, or am I the wepon? Do I need to get naked?

Chris

What the **** Sadie

Katie

Sadie! I now that you told me that deep dark secret about your feelings for Chris but you don't need to take your clothes off for him! (shouts)

Sadie

! (Screaming at Katie)

Katie

, ummmmm, Chris, did you hear any of that?

Chris

I'll say what you want me to say, YES! And Sadie, no, you will never have to take your clothes off for me, only for the camera, now, carry on...

Katie

How! turn thy back and run?

Sadie

Run away from what? Oh, ummm, fear me not.

Katie

No, marry; I fear thee!

I'm getting married? OMGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Katie and Sadie

!

!

Sadie

Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.

Oh, are we bargaining, oh, I bid $10

Katie

I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as  
they list.  
But, if we have a list, who is it to, Santa? OMG, Christmas has come early! 

Sadie

Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them;  
which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.

Firstly, it says nay, I am not a horse, am I but does it mean to say hay? Because I'll quite happily eat hay and if I bite my thumb at them wont that hurt and what does that mean

Chef

It kind of means swearing in a way

Katie

So are you saying that we should give them the finger?

Katie and Sadie:

(Give chef and Chris the middle finger)

To be continued!


	2. Chapter 2 Who is Romeo and Juliet?

TRAJ Results!

Everyone, I have the results for Romeo and Juliet!

Romeo is going to be played by (Drum role) ... ... ... ... ...

(Hert beat)... ... ...

TRENT!

Trent had to most votes for Romeo.

Juliet is going tobe played by (Drum role) ... ... ... ...

(Hert Beat) ...

Heather: Oh, just get to the effin point already!

Narrator: Ok, god!

BRIDGET!

Bridget received the most votes out of everyone in the whole cast! She also received the most votes for Juliet.

Ok, everyone I hope that you are happy with the pairings, if not, you should have voted and if you did then too bad...

Will update, I am sorry that I have not updated for months, it is just that, homework and clubs and my other stories, please read and review them all if you can!

Stay tuned!

Miss Pink 001!

xxx


	3. Chapter 3 Meet the whole cast!

**Cast List**

(AN/ Hi everyone, now I know who Romeo and Juliet are, here is the cast list, please R&R, Love to all, Miss Pink 001.x.)

Director = Chris

Dance Choreographer, backstage and second director = Chef

Romeo = Trent

Juliet = Bridget

Sampson = Katie

Gregory = Sadie

Abraham = Alejandro Burromuerto

Balthasar = Gwen

Benvolio = Heather

Tybalt = Lindsey

First Citizen and Paris = Cody

Capulet = Harold

Lady Capulet = LeShawna

Montague = Duncan

Lady Montague = Beth

Prince = Justin

Servant and Apothecary = Noah

Nurse and third watchman= Eva

Mercutio and third Musician = Tyler

First Servent = Blaineley

Second Servent and Friare Laurence = DJ

Second Capulet and Musician = Ezekiel

Peter = Geoff

First Musician and Page= Izzy

Second Musician and first watchman = Owen

Second watchman = Sierra

Friar John = Courtney


	4. Chapter 4

**TRAJ (Total Romeo and Juliet)**

**Chapter 4**

Enter Alejandro and Gwen

Alejandro

Do you bite your thumb at us, Sir?

Gwen

I do bite my thumb, what, I don't want to do that, groose! And BTW I am not a sir, I am a Miss!

Alejandro

You technically are a Miss but with that Stash you look like a Sir to me and everyone…

I repeat, do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Sadie

[Next to Katie]

Is the law of our side, if I say ay? What the hell does that mean? Is the Law on our side? Are we like Criminals or something?

Katie

This script says no, so…

Sadie and Katie

We are criminals? Eeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiii

Sadie

No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I  
bite my thumb nails if that helps, speaking of which, I do really bite my thum nals and...

Chris: Just fucking carry on. I don't want to hear about you eating your thumb nails. (Chris shudders)

Katie

Do you quarrel, sir? Cause I do!

Alejandro

Quarrel sir! no, sir.

But we all know that you Katie and Sadie have quite a temper on you that you both can't control…

Sadie

Excuse me? Who are you calling bad tempered? I of all people do not have a bad temper!

(Sadie runs up to Chris and Chef and Slaps them around the face and throws the camera that is filming her onto the ground and has a wrestle with it.)

Anyway, if you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you. (Sadie says so very sweetly with a little grin then does a evil laugh)

Muhuhahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahha hahahahahaha haaaaaaa

Alejandro

No better.

Sadie

Well, sir.

Katie

Say 'better:' here comes one of my master's kinsmen.

Sorry, but, I have a master? I thought that I was my own person and not a slave?

Chris

Your not a slave Katie, just read the script, it is the play, don't worry, you are your own person!

Katie

Thank God, I thought that I would have to kiss someone's feet or something or wash them, ewwwwwwwww.

Sadie 

Yes, better, sir,

I don't get the script…. It is too Shakespeaery!

Chef

That is because it is by Shakespeare! Carry on!

Alejandro

You lie.

Sadie

Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.

By Draw, does it mean draw as in draw pictures, because I call dibbs on drawing a pink unicorn and a matching Leprecorn!

(Alejandro and Sadie fight with their twigs and jelly with their card board cut outs, Sadie stabs Alejandro in his precious bit of his body and green jelly is flopping of it as he gets back up to his feet…))

(A/N: Five reviews please, so that I know that someone is reading, will update as soon as I get them! X)


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